Wild Swans - Tanka (Haiku style poem) - irony

Today's #afewwordsaday #KAFWAD submission

Why not join me? Today's prompts are below. Prompts for the rest of the week are in a separate post just below.

12th September 2015

What do you think of my Tanka poems? It's my first attempt. Can you do better?

Opposite: the King's wife was beautiful on the outside but when he looked at her he was filled with horror.

Prompts / date	12th September 2015
FMS Photo a day	opposite
Text type	Tanka
Sentence type	Irony
Story	The Wild Swans

Irony	overstates how good or bad something is, rest of sentence reveals overstated word to be false. Our 'luxury' room turned out to be a farm building. The 'trip of our dreams' was, in fact, our worst nightmare.
Tanka	5-7-5-7-7 last two lines change pace or tone

The Six Swans

The king had six sons

His wife turned them into swans

Their sister saved them

She knitted shirts from nettles

and turned them back into men

So this one doesn’t change the tone or pace, let’s try again with a bit more help from Alan Peat's '50 ways to re-tell a story':

I was a sad girl.

My six brothers were now swans.

I had to save them:

For six years I could not speak

And knitted six nettle shirts.

Better – but no irony…

Six boys and one girl.

one step mum and a cruel spell:

Six swans and one girl.

Six years of knitting nettles.

Six brothers back: just one wing.

Hmm, still no irony. Let’s try just part of the story…

A king, lost, no hope.

An old woman can help him

If he weds her girl.

This ‘worthy and pretty’ girl

Filled our king’s heart with horror.

I heard - The boy who cried wolf

Today's #afewwordsaday #KAFWAD submission

Why not join me? Today's prompts are below. Prompts for the rest of the week are in a separate post just below.

9th September 2015

I'm getting used to this 5-7 syllable format. The more I do it, the less I have to count the syllables. Have a go!

Prompts / date	9th September 2015
FMS Photo a day	I hear
Text type	Naga-uta
Sentence type	Adjective, same adjective
Story	The boy who cried wolf

Adj, same adj	A phrase with an adjective, repeat same adjective straight after the comma. Adds detail and explains. It was a cold planet, cold due to the distance from the sun
Naga-uta	Japanese for 'long song';has mini-Haikus, each stanza is 5-7, the last is 7-7. Separate chains of naga-uta can go off at a tangent, to add more detail, explain an underlying motive...

I heard the boy cry wolf but I ignored him: a wolf killed one of his sheep.
'No one believes a liar even when they tell the truth'

(disclaimer - this didn't really happen. I would have noticed a wolf that big,
and I know that the sponge doesn't look much like a sheep)

A young shepherd boy

Watching for a big, bad wolf,

                                                                       He’s so very bored.

                                                                       For weeks now, there’s been no sign

Looking down the hill

He sees the farmers working

                                                                           The shepherd boy looks

                                                                           At his unused warning bell

                                                                           The shepherd boy thinks

                                                                           ‘I wonder what they would do…’

‘Help! Help! There’s a wolf!’

The boy jumped and rang the bell.

The men ran to help,

but no wolf was to be seen.

‘I chased him away!’

‘Well done! What a brave young man!’

                                                                        ‘That was fun,’ he thought.

                                                                         I will try that trick again.

‘Help! Help! There’s a wolf!’

The boy jumped and rang the bell.

                                                                          

The men dropped their tools,

Again they came to his aid.

Once again, no wolf.

There was no praise, no ‘brave boy.’

                                                                           The men were doubtful,

                                                                           doubtful because of his grin.

                                                                          He’d chased off a wolf

                                                                           And yet he wasn’t shaken

                                                                           

He did it again,

Again no wolf was there

They were angry now.

‘Don’t cry wolf, when there’s no wolf.’

                                                                           The daft boy just grinned

                                                                           He loved the sport of ‘cry wolf’

Next day he saw a …

‘WOLF! HELP! HELP!’ He rang his bell.

                                                                           He shouted loudly,

                                                                           Loudly so they’d know it’s true.

                 

‘Does he think we’re fools?

The villagers ignored him.

At sunset the boy

didn’t come down with the sheep

The boy was weeping

when they went up to find him.

‘The wolf ate a sheep:

I called, but you did not come.’

No one believes a liar

even when they tell the truth.